I start to wonder.
whether i have done anything wrong all these while.
whether i have achieved what i believed.


After reading the HMT passage, its about one's faith, reminds me of my life.
Its like a body without soul.
I am breathing, so wad?
Its just for the sake of living, nothing else.
how sad can that be if u do not have any direction to lead u to move on?!
Its the same compared with a lost child?


today i reached home.
My mum told me that the neighbour when i was young in malaysia, died yesterdae.
I remember my neighbour. well, i called her aunty. (duhh) she just died so suddenly, without any sign. she didnt get sick or what. she treated me really good when i was still in malaysia, staying there. i missed her actually.
death?
is it so hard to escape?
It reminds me the precariousness of life.
Our life, can go just so suddenly.
and so why dont we cherish?
why are we seem like going our utmost to ruin our life?
everybody seems to do the same thing, has the same direction towards life.
It is to reduce our life time and ruin our future?
Isnt that what we are doing? thats what i see.


Alcohol, cigarette, unhealthy meat, pretence, lies, harms, murders, facade.
That's what we do, arent we?
We are doing our UTMOST to ruin our life u see!
shall i chuckle at this idea or grieve over such a silly act we do?
I dont understand humanity.
and i am even starting to wonder if i am one who owns true humanity values.
i dont, do i?

After all these, seeing someone closed to me died.
I feel like i should cherish everything around me, bad or good.
i dont know. i am so confused.
I dont know what i should do.
Keep on telling myself that i ll have to think positively,
see things the right way,
do the right thing,
and everythin will be okay?
is that true?
I hope so. Really hope so.


Spread the love of yours?
I have been thinking over this sentence for long time.
I dont understand this sentence, yet the person who said so with ease and have full understanding of it.

gosh, hais.
think i should do some soul searching again.
or was it meant to do it everyday?
If not how u make life a better for you?

Pretence. Facade.
True. Whole-hearted.
what does it mean?
I am not god. I am human. I cant do things like gods do. Or am i even human? are u human? It makes me wonder.
we're more like some creatures or monsters, arent we?
sometimes i think its silly that human think highly of themselves.
A smart brain that kills.
that's human.


wait.
never mind.
i shouldnt have talked much.
Its also silly of me.
I am no better than anyone.
Its really time to think, to observe.

what's wrong with me?
remember what she said,


"Spread the love of yours"