Today's story---

This morning, the sky was gloomy and cloudy. Ms chong asked me to follow her to take something, but the announcement made ask all the prize winners to meet mrs tan at the canteen straight after assembly. I decided to follow ms chong first cuz' i could always ask someone about the meeting. i ran to the canteen. Its sorta crowded and i dunno who to meet and where to meet. firstly i saw Shuwen, i gave her the form ms chong gave. As my mind was feeling rather disturbed cuz; too many things came all at once, AND, i saw him, i saw Old Man. I can't believe that i actually called him. For the first time eh? I wanted to ask him about the prize presentation meeting. But when i was about to ask, the words juz died in my throat. I couldnt say a thing. I was rather nervous. My heart was pounding real fast, i could feel it. Its like i couldnt control it.... At that moment, i didnt noe wad to do, i juz kept smiling at him and shuwen (she was beside me, and she said i looked like an idiot bai chi -.-), and finally, after some struggles, i FINALLY started to say something and TRUST ME, i didnt really talk, i was literally stuttered all the way. I used some english and mandarin. sighh, i shouldnt have used singlish, i should have talked pure mandarin to him. i mean, well, i am trying hard to do anything that suits him, i really am. but i was juz too nervous. gosh, if only i could turn back the time. I just dun want him to think that i am such a loser who is neither good at chinese nor english. i feel so remorseful now. god! what should i do?!!



then, he told me about wad to do on monday. and guess wad? i am sooo damn stupid and REAL dumb. I just uttered a word thank you. some more in english!!! how could i?! damn damn damn.... I feel like a loser now! and i just turned to shuwen without lookin at him and he juz walked away!!

After that, i ran back for lesson, i was running and panting like crazy mad dog. and we met at the doorstep. I wondered how i looked like at the doorstep, when i was really gasping for air and i guess my hair was in a huge mess. but AGAIN, i am soooooooooo BLOODY stupid, i didnt look at him at all, i juz entered the classroom!

I really feel so dumb now, but at the same time, i am really really happy. at least, i made one step onwards. although its juz a poor little step, i am getting nearer to him now.

at least, one step nearer.

I just dont understand. When its time that i wanted to give up such obsession with him, yet such thing happened on me. and it sorta gave me hope. some fairytale hope i guess. He isnt handsome. He is rude and so not frenly..... 'YET ___ never mind.

First love is always blind. thats wad my mum said. but HEY, that isnt "love", its juz an obsession. But somehow, i wonder, how does he feel to me?

I wouldnt have peace if i dont get to know the answer... but after all, wad can we do with juz an obsession? esp with someone whom sometimes is worthless.

A girl's thoughts.
Her dreams. My dreams.



Can u see the two stars? i wonder. Maybe one day someone would appear to be my star. and i would be his star too. and we'll live happily ever after in the world of our love-land. Giving out our brightest and warmest love, shining to everyone who needs it. who envies it. who gets motivated, and decided to search for their very own love.

Can u see the two stars? one of them, its like my heart.
juz imagine, this heart would be linking with another heart.
A never-ever-separate one.

Can u see the two stars?

Sometimes love is just so unrealistic. Its cruel and always gives misery to everyone.

But as an ordinary girl, I just wish someone, could be part of me.

Someone who protects you, who looks after you, who takes care of you behind your back, without you knowing.

Someone who treats you like a princess. someone who treats you as his only girl. someone who carries you with two hands like a precious pearl, not wanting to hurt one bit of you.

Someone who really loves you.

and i continue to dream.......

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Tomorrow got ATC camp, its gonna be tiring and hopefully, fun. But i ll only be reaching home on sun afternoon or even evening. how to do my homework and project? sighh.

such a RIGHT time...

I hope everything would be fine.

I hope mum and dad could stay healthy, DONT GET SICK ANYMORE! I'll pray for u. and i did.

I hope i could talk to Old Man again, haha. Its silly, I NOE. after all, juz an obsession??

(pls note that there is no love in me for him, i tink, yea....)

".......I am someone whom cannot be defeated. If i fall, i shall stand up again. please do give me the courage and faith......." Jinyi__