YOZZ back to my "fairytale"blog. MUAHAHAHHAAA.. FINALLY.....

Let's see, most of the exams i have already taken, now only left with geography, literature and highter mother tongue paper 2 and 3.

Geography I will have plenty of time to study tomorrow and Sunday.
Today, which is Friday, I will have plenty of time to sleep, :D I need to store energy for the next few days for revision. yeah.
Literature, will be last minute revision, as always. that's what everybody does :)
HMT no point studying. Except that you have to clear your shits in your ears before taking the paper 3, which is listening comprehension.

okay. I think I did okay for all my examinations. I can't guarantee that i will do well. because many of the questions i did anyhow and i wasn't sure though. But surprisingly, this time i did not have any pressure at all. FREAK. because my parents will always be nagging and emphasising on relaxation. :)

Yesterday morning, dad said to me, " If you don't know how to do the questions then don't do k. just pass can already.. " and his face beaming with undefinable smile. Maybe its kindness?

and i replied, " siao ah.." but deep in my heart i was really touched enough to melt.

THUS, i fervently hope that i pass ALL my examinations. But even though i failed, its destined, isn't it? C'mon, its the process that we treasure. You think its ridiculous to say that i would fail, but i daren't set high hopes for myself. moreover, it would be a blessing in disguise if I do well. Remember, it's not my ability. I knew it in the heart. Its something else.

Anyway, no matter what, I will survive and i have to survive, inevitably.

Mum doesn't seem to really care for my school work, but i know that isn't her obliviousness. It doesn't mean that she care less, it actually means that she cares MORE, on other areas, which I fret that i can't do. For, she wants me to carry this responsibility as heavy as lifting up the Earth. Whenever she says that, I could feel her determination overlays with high expectation that seems really hard to reach. Gosh, I fought to be the right person. I struggled in the heart. I began to cry because i am afraid that i would disappoint her. B'cause, deep in my heart, I just have this strong feeling that I am not the right person. The blood that flow in me doesnt seem to be red, but black. I am not really as good as you think. Sometimes, I feel so ached in the heart, it was as if my heart being stabbed by a knife, very deeply, and it twisted every now and then. An undescribable pain that came sporadically. I think i am ashamed and remorsed. and sorry.

Never mind. I will try.
The more you care for me, the more tenacious I become.



Noel asked me to get top this year again. Like i am capable of it? Unless I score full marks for my Malay final examination. and IF the marks are included in the report book as well, that is. But i don't really care anymore. I have gradually changed my direction of the path that i am walking on now. Unknowingly, i guess.


After exam, I hope I could have the initiative to read more books. :)
Next, of course must play until siao siao lol.

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO WATCHING "EIGHT BELOW".
(Yongxi must burn for me!! I don't care.. I will bu zhe shou duan to get the cd.. somehow..)

AND, maybe go watch movie with Old Frens. Xintian suggested to watch John Tucker Must Die, But i don't think i am freee for the first week after exam. sighh.
Don't care, still can go Mrs ChanChan's house to eat ^.^ *hope so*

AND can go Malaysia, learn basketball from Ivan, my new coach lol.
Just hope that i am allowed to go out often to practise. wheeess muahahaaa


AND sleep~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ok, gtg sleep now. NAP, i mean.