Today, I just took the Mother Tongue "O" level Paper 1 and 2. Well, it seemed easy but I made quite a number of stupid mistakes. I doubt I can get A though. Never mind. Shan't talk about it. It's over! =) Now left with those stupid useless waste time slacking truncated lessons plus piles of holiday homework that will be bombarded on us sooner or later... Teachers always like to give surprises eh? Never mind. We shall return them more surprises when school reopens. =D *evil smile*





Hmm.. Well, what surprises can I give? Hmm... I am a good student, am I not?











In the morning, I was waiting, holding on to that damn handphone of mine, staring at the screen even though it didn't vibrate at all. How dumb of me. In the end I gave up reading the piles of chinese papers on my hands. What's the use of waiting? Messages of blessing received from the people were shocking and unexpected. Messages that I had longed for and expected didn't even appear in my Inbox for the last 100 SMS. How freaking silly of me to even think of it huh? You are always indifferent... Yeah.. I should have told myself this long ago.. so how can I expect you to know this day and say stupid things to me, to waste your prescious time and SMS and money and even the strength to type that two words?!





It will be a miracle right? I wonder whether I am playing a game with you.. Nah. I don't think I am gonna play with you. I am just not going to deceive myself, of the fact that it is over. I have lost, completely.





Your indifference, your total ignorance, and your daydream. I wonder how you did that. If only I could learn from you, I wouldn't have felt happy for nothing and in the end, DOOM, an empty shell was what you left me with. You rather drifted off to your daydream.








Why am I so eager to confide in you in almost everything? Why am I always long for your reply? I have been asking myself... The fact that you are not as eager as I am, I feel completely betrayed and hurt. Maybe all along I was wrong about you. What's that thing in between us? A shelter that we built, a place where you come in and leave as you please, an abandoned shelter?





Here I am, hiding in the shelter without you as the cold wind blows, alone. You're indeed gone. Not even a human shadow appears. You will never come back I guess.. Webs formed, dust layed.. here I am under this rickety shelter.. Freezing. I decided to leave this place, in search of a better one.. Will you come back? No.. Why should I stay? No reason.






Maybe I could call the winds to blow off this damn shelter, let it collapse, let it bury in the soil under our feet, let it decompose, and be gone forever. Memories are always better. I am not going to care. I don't want to care. You have indeed taught me a lesson to be indifferent..



Tomorrow will be a new day. I will be different. I will be happy. I will be just as ignorant as you are. I will lock that part of my memories forever. And I will throw my hopes away. =)



It feels disastrous to be affected and influenced by others emotionally. I totally loathebit. I am not gonna feel this way. No way. I am myself and no one can ever touch that feelings of mine.. No one... Yeah, no one!

-May I grant your wish, and fall into an abyss of ignorance..