Recently, I just don't have the mood to blog. Though I feel that I do have a lot to talk about, just not in the right mood.. For example, I was supposed to talk about the trip in Taman Negera and the Work Attachment in Hard Rock... aarrghh

But right now, at this very moment, I just have this urge to post my feelings. Haha it's gonna be so weird.. and the blog will simply be in words. Well, I really hate to bottle these feelings up... Such intense upsurge of emotion that keeps my mind running into myriads of thoughts, all because of these damn movie Titanic and drama Stairway to Heaven...

Just after the movie Titanic was finished in Channel 5, I realized that quite a number of my friends watched it. And I think people started talking about it then. Well, it's the 4th time that I watched this, with such great reluctance in the beginning. For I loathe having feeling THIS damn thing..... Unfortunately, its inevitable. and I nonetheless started to feel this way...

Both movie and drama that I have watched, they are real touching and lovely, people often cry after watching them. My poor Yiyan, I guess she has wasted tonnes of tears, exaggerated but I know she cried. =)

It was really heart-wrenching that Jack actually sacrificed himself to save Rose, and to see the girl died in his beloved's arm, with tears that were about to burst in his eyes, heart that was crushed and about to break down... and the promise that made to meet in the heaven ... Well, Its really sweet... the movie and the drama. To see the couple love each other so truthfully and intensely, so much of love that they could forget themselves but the person right in their eyes. This happens without any love potion, magic or witchcraft or other sorta things, it just naturally happens and occurs, triggered by their hearts.... So heart warming and pure that I can't help but feel ... well, overwhelmed, I should say, at the same time overlays with a kinda disbelief. It's just something that is beyond reality, too perfect to be considered as a story in the fairytale...

I can't help but to wonder and think of it.. Well, I am just a young girl, but I have got brain and feelings. Those things that I watched, and those reality that reflects in current society... our social life... those couples on streets that we see everyday and so on ... it somehow doesn't match... and turns out quite impossible and maybe I can use the word, "wrong"... Maybe theese things truly exist but not to such perfection and romance..

Whatever it is, I love the "stories". I almost melted, but at the same time couldn't help my mind to be filled with thoughts and opinions...

And.. another thing is about parting... I hate to be reminded of the fact that people die and part with that loved ones... Oh my.. I really hate it.. Why why why?! I don't understand.. Why such pain why such ending.. How can it happen to us?! Don't you think its too cruel and heart breaking..? We can be as strong as iron, but not like this, not when our loved ones part with us.. To think that maybe we will never see each other again.. To think that maybe we would have to wait for another eon of years to meet again.. To think that this love and relation between our loved ones and us could only be etched in our mind and existed as memory... Why?!

It is now SADNESS, ANGER, blames, and questions, and more QUESTIONS! It is something that can be understood, but you just refuse to understand and accept it. You deny what you know, and continue to think foolishly and cry for just a 'why' in your heart...

Panicked, painful, bittering, and fall into that uncontrollable negative thoughts...

Aaarrghh... I am going mad.

Whatever it is. I just feel that we should treasure every second we have, as long as we are still breathing.. and treasure every single person we meet and know.. It's really special.. out of billions of people where you only get to know these few hundreds... They are like someone really close to you.... I can't bear to lose anyone now.. omg.. Not to talk about people like your close friends and relatives, but the people you know... I feel .. blessed..?



So glad that I just told someone about this in msn before going offline, that is Syamim and my aunt Kellyn. =)

I think I am mad, I really am... I need something to soothe these complicated feelings. Yeah.. Now I am just going to sleep... May I get some answers from my dreams. =)

Good night Jinyi. Sweet Dreams. <3