This is the Moneky Fist made by our CC instructors! For everyone of us. nice!

Today, was the campcraft competition for the guys. They did good. Although it isn't the best, but at least they finished. Now, comes the girls prelim... well, today I was really really really REALLY nervous for them.... scared, worried... I thought I would have heart attack....... I almost had..... but I didn't........ If guys prelim is this scary, what would happen in girls prelim??? I seriously can't imagine...

Whatever happens, we are gonna do our very best.

Fear. There are just too many possiblities. I can't help but to feel so afraid.. Unecessary thoughts just barge into my mind, I can't get them away... They just keep coming, filling up my mind... Sometimes, I keep telling myself that it is just a process. It is the process that we want.. its the process that will be meaningful.. Its the process that is important. It's the process that we cherish and remember. Its a part of your learning journey. However, how meaningful can your process be if the outcome isn't what you want? After so much of effort... maybe not the fullest drive.... but still, it hurts to see everything goes down the drain, just like that.....

Luck. It is definitely not an excuse. Only people who want to find solace from their failures will use luck as the culprit.

Guilt. I feel sorry for him. For them. Somehow. They are happy and they are sad. I can feel that. I don't want to be the one to break the chain. Seriously. I really don't want. I refuse. I loathe. I pray. I yearn. Not me... Just NOT me...

-sigh-

Anyway, I have been watching this Korean Drama called the Queen of the GAme. The guy is damn cool and handsome sia! Shuai!

Out of the millions in Singapore, when do you get to see such Shuai Ge? You tell me when? Sigh, thats really a very sad thing to talk about. But it's okay... we have to accept the fact.... =/

The girl is beautiful.

Lastly, I want to talk about something here today. Its weird to hear people saying that I am a Tomboy or I am very boyish or I am man...... Well, I admit that I am kinda elated at the way they called me. That was the past. Just because I cut my hair and play basketball.... doesn't mean I will be forever a Boy. I think I am getting more "girl" now. I don't know why. Its both a good news and a bad news. I want to be a boy, if I were given a choice. I want to be a girl, because I am a girl?? And I like both guy and girl. Its really a very weird thing. And my mum called it "unnatural".

Today, when I told her that this guy in the drama is damn bloody handsome... Guess what was her reaction?

" I am glad you know that."

" I am glad you think someone is handsome now."

WHAT THE HELL??? Its definitely not the first time that I recognise someone as handsome.. I am very sure of that. I think she is really worried that I may become a lesbian. That was one of the major reasons why she didn't want me to study in girls school. Aarrgghh....

When my family and I were watching the drama, My dad was like, " my daughter can never be this lady-like like the actress in the drama. "

Then my mum replied, " noooo.. she will become more lady-like in the future.... I am very sure of that...... right??????? " And she stared at me with this really weird threantening look...

Okay. So in conclusion, they are wrong in their perspective in thinking that I am....... when I am not.........