Bad or good news.

Girls campcraft prelim is postponed to next Saturday due to heavy rain the morning today. So much of looking forward to this very day, but in the end, all my fear, tension, "highness" all go down the drain. Everyone became very sianz after that. This is a bad news.

Good news is that maybe on the next saturday, the weather and the environment will be much better and suitable for campcraft.. hmm....

I don't know what to say. Just feel so dreamy for the day. Blur and heavy head. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz










What an ordeal. What a harsh blow you give. It only results in more disappointments. My heart aches for you, for us. I wonder, and I can't help myself but to ask, why? Those painful tears from all of them that shed for you, for us, do they even mean anything to you? Do they actually wake you up and bring you to your senses? Or are they simply transparent and meaningless in your sight? I wonder, did the message even cross your braincells?


For a moment, I wish I could falter, and let go completely. But it's hard.. There are so many forces stopping you from doing that. You know you can't let go. You know that we have reached this inevitable periphery.. to such angle that falling is for sure. But you also know that you just just just can't do it.. Its like rules and laws. You simply don't have a choice. And now what? You try to hang on to that edge, trying hard to resist the gravity that pulls you off the ground of stability.

Why not just let yourself fall for the better? To free yourself from what is now, fear, lost and failure. It seems wiset in a way. Silly if you don't do that.


Yet I can't..


Those good and fun memories we have, being friends, I am glad.. Its indeed unforgettable .. However, you left us in the lurch when we needed you, just for your own fun and selfishness. I thought it wasn't that bad.. I thought it wasn't the worst.. I thought it was okay and everything was still manageable.. But now, it seems that all along it was just my one-sided, self-deception.


You said they know what to do.. you said I am silliy.. you reason out the things which you wanted to prove me wrong in such a way that you can still think it is right.. when truth is just in front of you.. I am completely speechless. Our minds are in two different worlds. We seem to be living in two different dimensions. I can't reach you. Neither do you. Even if you've tried. You care. But so what? We can never understand each other. We are friends who can have fun together, but we can never work together.....


Guilt is what I have left. there is this urge to apologize.. at the same time, knowing that apology doesn't work anymore. Anyway, what's the use of apologizing when there is no action? STILL, there is no action I can make. Things seem to be beyond redemption. Maybe very few. But ....... whatever.


Its cold and its hot. Its never and its still...

Our minds, our thoughts..conflicts.. fights... I wish I could have a full understanding of it. The reasons behind. The cause of influence.. Why is this world so complicated? Or rather, this world is never simple, like you.

Everything is a blur.

Forget it. too much of shits to write. My head is getting heavy. I shall stop here.




May this coming week be a pleasant week and may all people to be happy and safe. PEACE =)








P.S and one thing tat i feel I must post it .

Recently there was this JI leader who escaped from Singapore Detention Centre. I guess everyone knows that. Now Singapore is trying to catch him and they put on photo and warning of him on every resident blocks i guess. There is one in mine. Beside the lift. And guess what I saw.

There were additional "features" which I saw on that photo.. like thicker eyebrow and beard.... Its obvious that this is done by some stupid brainless people who just have nothing to do in their entire life but to vandalise on photo that is so important.... Whats wrong with their brain?????? Arrgghh another complex thing. They are just bunch of stupid restards.


whatever!