I have been crying these days.
Sometimes for a reason which is hard to explain. Sometimes.. I have no idea what are those tears for. Perhaps I just want to escape and pretend that I don't know..

I think a lot these days.
Should I just let myself fall into an abyss of ignorance? It seems like a solution to me. It works sometimes. but again, it hurts too.

Feeling like a mean daughter. I don't mean to be cold. But again, I wonder, who has caused this horrible thing to happen.

You said adaptation is what I need. For that moment I actually succumbed to that. I tried. very hard. but it isn't easy.

until a point when I can't take it anymore.. I begin to break down.
If only I could just leave everything aside and get out of this place I would, definitely.
If only I could be that irresponsible and just leave my studies and friends and YOU and all the shits that are holding me back. I WOULD.


If only.

I feel so vulnerable. Telling people about it doesn't help because the advice is always to tell me to be strong and independent. If only it could be this easy.

I am tired of pretending all these time..
Its suffocating me..

for now, I am just looking forward to Thursday.
A day when I will look for some comfort and get OUT of this place.