i feel really unsure of how he really is as a person. there s just this fear. perhaps i am not going to try to know anymore... i just loathe doing this kinda thing. perhaps i would just wait for people to find out. he s like a both bad and good person.... i am afraid to take the risk to follow him. its like. no way for me....

anyway, i really like my brother. half-a brother.. he s so good at cooking! he seems so cool and cute when he helped out cooking at the kitchen. hahaha. oh well, seriously, if we werent siblings i may have fallen in love with him..

he seems grown up compared to last time.. mature and sensible. I am quite impressed.. theres lots of things i kinda need to learn from him... haha perhaps i am still too dependent on people....

i was asked whether i should study with him over here.. something which i have thought bout.. to escape.. but this is just not sensible. i still have many questions in mind..

he told me about his plans.. how he s gonna rent a room with his friends, take up a part time job and study at the same time and so on... everything seems so well planned.. i hardly thought of this before.. maybe cause i am a coward, i am still so well protected...

so many things running through my mind now...



- it snowed a few days ago.... so freezing cold...
the things here damn expensive lah! clothes all winter type.. cant really buy anything. bought a hard rock jacket and a japanese style bag. bought some souvenirs for my frens too. and something for jolene! so afraid that that size may not be able to fit hers. walaoo.... waste money lor like that.....zzzz

anyway the things here are expensive. but for the people here i guess its not. cause normal people take up part time job... their salary is super high compared to those in singapore! 900 yen per hour which is like 15 sing dollars per hour!!!!!!!!!!!!! zzz

k lah thats all for today.