Just wanna feel like blogging a little...

very tiring today.. I really love my OG10. they are really good at cheering.. we were quite enthusiastic compared to other OGs which we have met... and i didn't know i can be this high... haha. i guess thats why i am from NPCC huh?

Really looking forward to suntec mass dance and O Night. =)


Today after orientation, went out with Jolene to eat and get something. Met a small little boy at the playground... he is just 6 year old and he already knew how to speak vulgarity like that is his form of language.. every word, every sentences.. are so unkind and lack of love... I feel so sad deep down in my heart i felt like crying for him.. hugging him and tell him that someone out there in the world loves him with their whole heart.

Jolene and I tried talking to him, teaching him as we could. but it was useless. all he said was

' you want to fight? let's fight!" showing his fist, almost attempting to hit me.


we asked him many questions. he answered, saying that his parents are all sick and he has to cook for them and that he came out to the playground to play himself. he freaking said he rather die and not do all these things taking care of them anymore.. and he is just a six year old boy..


I explained things for him.. and he threw stones at me. my heart ached so much for him but i knew i have to teach him no matter what. so I suddenly put on a very stern face and scolded him what is right and what is wrong. he was shocked..and my heart continued to shatter bit by bit when he said, ' you two better don't learn from me (referring to fighting), this is just me..'

for a moment, I was speechless. He knows. he just knows, deep in his heart. he is conscious of what he is doing. he is just so lost and misguided.. no one is there for him..

I feel so helpless. I felt like bringing him home and lock him in my bedroom and spend days and nights teaching him. I felt like carrying this spoilt kid up and lock him tightly in my arms and ask him to shut up and listen to me.. I felt like giving him a little of my love for this small boy who i don't know to fill up his empty life.

but sadly, i can't possibly help him.. we are just complete strangers.. i was just so helpless.
so, we left him in the end.. and let him to move on with his life by himself..

I just feel so sad now..


and then, talking a lot with jolene. she's one good friend to talk to. =)
really love her as a godsis.

sometimes, it's just heartwrenching to remember those memories you had with tha special someone, and as time goes on, people change, the relationship changes, and you just have to accept reality and face it.

yeah i did face it. i am totally fine with it. but deep down, i felt remorseful for not doing what i could have done. perhaps, things would be different. perhaps its just fate.

Or, perhaps, I have yet to meet someone who i truly love and, yeah in return of that. I guess it's just unreliable to talk about such thing when we are yet fully matured in our ways of thinking.

Hence, I don't believe in long-lasting relationship at this point of time. but i know it will come, definitely.

thats all for today. good night jinyi.