Can you tell me what this feeling really is?

Deep in my heart i am feeling crushed, the pain that inflicted on me is excruciating. but somehow, overlays with a kinda delight...

Am i mad?









Nobody seems to care about me.
well, sometimes, i really wish for a somebody who can undertsand me without having to tell about how i feel. but its impossible,

maybe, god?
Am i that hard to understand?
never mind, i don't even understand myself.