What happened to me?
Everything seems to go wrong.
I didn't mean to hurt you. really.
I was just joking.
hatred is burning my soul.
The one that only caused troubles and what more?
still troubles.


shedding no more tears.
My throat is burning.
My heart aches.
The feeling of uselessness filled me up.
I don't mean to be what i think i am.
Sometimes, the idea juz comes out...

"would the world become better if i didnt exist?"
"would you be happier without me?"

You don't seem to care. seriously. you don't look like one who cares about me.
Only this time, you came into my room, unexpectedly.
Asked me everything about the camp. I finally realized that u cared about me actually. At least i wasnt totally invisible to you. I felt really delighted and full of gratitudes.

because

you care.



The feeling of happiness immediately replaced with regrets and misery.
I didnt mean what i said.
I was joking.
I was actually feeling very happy and thankful, but i just dont know how to react...
and that's it.
This was what i have done.
Now, she thought i was ungrateful, unfilial and everything bad.

I WASNT MEANT TO RUIN EVERYTHING!!
WHY?!
I WASNT!
I DIDNT WANT TO!
I DIDNT MEAN IT!
I WASNT!
I WASNT!
I WASNT!!



unfinished story, endless story, fatigue.


























Nobody understands.

i am not telling.

nothing will change.