This feeling really hurts.
Undescribable, unexplained feeling. Maybe it can be explained, but it's too hard for me now.
My mind is in a deep stupor, Seriously, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to react. And I don't want to confront any of these things anymore. It just turns me mad, and I am afraid that once there's no turning back, I would drown in sorrow, to death.

Whatever it's happening now, I am just trying my best to pretend. Obstinacy? Determination? Or is it mainly trepidation?

Gosh, I feel so scared now. A spasm of pain in the heart just rush through me, it's not just a moment of pain, it comes sporadically, whenever your words prick my very flesh. Sometimes I daren't to listen, it just shuns me off. But you just came and drowned me into sorrow, all of a sudden. What have I done actually? Why is it always me? Why can't it be someone else? Why am I always be the one at fault? Why are you always trying to find whatever things that you can find to criticise, to grumble whatever you can even those tiny minor little things... With your sarcasm and needle-like words that shot me every now and then.

EVerything seems to be in a huge mess. One day, one moment I might just leave everything to fate. I would drown myself to death instead of struggling now. I wanna starve myself, maybe starvation could overcome those stupid feelings that I have. Maybe those feelings would just go away if I ignore.

I don't know what to do.
Nobody is here. I could only feel the cold air that I am breathing in now, and the sad song that keeps repeating in my mind.

Let's just drown into melancholy, into emptiness, to death,
as a way of enjoyment.