" These violent delights have violent ends,
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder.
Which, as they kiss, consume. "

Romeo & Juliet Act II Scene vi







In this world you tried
Not leaving me alone behind
There's no other way
I'll pray to the gods let him stay
The memories ease the pain inside,
Now I know why

All of my memories keep you near
In silent moments
Imagine you'd be here.
All of my memories keep you near,
Your silent whispers, silent tears

Made me promise I'd try
To find my way back in this life
I hope there is a way
To give me a sign you're okay
Reminds me again it's worth it all
So I can go home

All of my memories keep you near
In silent moments
Imagine you'd be here
All of my memories keep you near
Your silent whispers, silent tears

Together in all these memories
I see your smile
All of the memories I hold dear
Darling, you know I'll love you
till the end of time

All of my memories keep you near
In silent moments,
Imagine you'd be here
All of my memories keep you near,
Your silent whispers, silent tears

All of my memories...









Oh my... I think I almost cried, listening to such a beautiful sad song... the lyrics pains me somehow, it gives me this bitter sour feeling bottled up in my heart.. I could feel my chest getting heavy, could feel the hot burning lump in my throat and the uncontrollable tears that stung my eyes.. I hardly feel this way for a long time.. So much of "memories" that filled my day.. Its nostalgic, heart-wrenching and helpless whenever you recall the past. The only so-called memories left in the presence that is untouchable but can only be felt spiritually. The only thing that will not be obstructed by time, or maybe I should say in another way, is that time created memories. Whatever that is.



I just watched Memoirs of a Geisha today, out of boredom though. It has got something to do with Memories, you see. Partly is because of the movie that triggers this feeling in me. Others due to the song that I am listening now and the books that I read, mainly Twilight, New moon and Eclispe.

The movie is about how this girl named Chiyo who had gone through many hard process and became a very famous Geisha once in Japan. Many people think that Geisha is a prostitue, but its not true. Geisha is a traditional female entertainer who dances, performs, plays intsruments for the guests... something like that. Chiyo also had a crush on a chairman that once saved her life when she was in her most depressed state. She decided to become a true Geisha so that she could approach him. Well, it's kinda sweet and romantic. But most importantly, the movie has successfully revealed the sadness and pain of a Geisha in her memoirs. My emotions kinda moved and aroused by the movie... till now, none of the emotions has dissipated....

Next, its the books that I am reading now. Omg.. I am totally obsessed with the books and utterly IN LOVE with Edward Cullen. A vampire in the book. I am impressed and deeply touched by his love for Bella, and vice versa. Well, its a romance book. Unlike some other adult romance books, its not sexually involved, its more to the inner feelings between them and about the hardships they'd gone through. Though I am reading the third book now, the forth one will be the last, which will be out next year, probably the end of year. But seriously, I am so looking forward to reading it. I want to know the ending so desperately...

it makes me wonder whether Bella will become a vampire in the end? Whether both Edward and Bella can live happily ever after with their immortality... or whether one of them dies and the other withers in a broken heart as one leaves... This ending will be just sooooooooo horrible that I think I will crumble as well... Omg... So much of thoughts.. it reminds me of the Little Mermaid fairytale that I have read since young. The story is simply a hardcore sorrow. And it also reminds me of another book that I have read last year, The Silver Kiss. Its about a vampire and a girl too. I kinda forgot the story. But If am not wrong, the vampire saved the girl and perished in the end, right in the girl's arm!!!!!! And I cried for so long after I finished the book, rereading again adn again, tears just streamed on my cheeks and I stared blankly at the wall, crying and thinking of the story the whole afternoon.... sigh.. I am so gonna recommend this book to Ameera and Fatin. Haha. I want to make them cry. =)

I am ssoooo afraid that the ending will not be a happy ending for Twilight.. sigh. I even dreamt of the book. Can anyone believe this?! I dreamt of Edward.. the dream was a total blur. His face was a blur too. But I dreamt of him! Its like a miracle! I think I am in love......

Reality can never make me so madly in love. For such love doesn't exist in reality. I guess only the books I read can make me feel this way. =) I want to read more!

Lastly, enough for my emotions. I will now talk about the campcraft training on Monday. I got freaked out! But was able to stay calm though. Haha. After training, Meera, Yongxi, Jerome, Ivan and I stayed up in the campcraft room to tidy up the things there. Everything was fine though. After that everyone ran down to join the rest in the canteen. I waited for Ameera to lock the door for the room. I was kinda mystified by her behaviour. She was in such hurry to lock the door and run even faster than me.. It made me wonder why the hell did she have to leave in such haste. Well, after that she went up the campcraft room again to keep the saw that we left behind in the canteen. Then I didn't know what happened.. I knew Ameera and Fatin went to change in the toilet. I went to tell them to hurry because the school guard was leaving soon. There I saw those long reddish scratches on Ameera's back. Who the hell would do that? Fatin told me it was that thing. And it kinda freaked me out because I couldn't see a thing like they did. After that, suddenly the lights blacked out. We screamed. We ran out of the toilet, realized that its the fucking guard who switched off the lights.. Couldn't he check first??? Then Ameera and Fatin just grabbed their clothes and stuff and ran out of the toilet... so did I.. It was creepy..

Worst part was that, Ameera started crying when we walked on our way to LuckyBread.. Crying was okay ... but not so okay when she suddenly just laughed..... Well, I wasn't scared. I started praying then, hoping to chase away whatever the thing was... All of us got drenched due to the heavy rain. In the LuckyBread, Ameera looked better at least, she cried again quite vehemently at first, but stopped soon. After that everything was okay and we and the rest of NP people started crapping. After that Audy, Amanda, me, Akmal, Jerome, Syakir, Meera and Fatin took the same bus to Bedok Interhcnage. Its a double decker bus and we sat at the back of the second floor of the bus. Everything was fine until Fatin and Meera just laughed out loud for no apparent reasons.... It kinda freaked Akmal and Syakir out.. Partly because they teared all of a sudden... its weird.. After that they started taking photos in the bus to "see" whether there was "things" around.. i don't think they found any...

After that, me and Meera took bus 60 home. She told me what happened in campcraft room. There was something standing beside her. I think we kinda disturbed her in campcraft room as Ivan and Meera fought over a fan..... Meera saw it and wanted to just off the fan, lock the door and escape... After that Meera was followed by the thing... After what she had told me in the bus, it got more creepy for me.... The way Meera looked and so on, I just felt that it wasn't her... Or maybe she wasn't feeling well, either one... Then I prayed for her....

I wasn't that scared until I walked home alone......in the dark .. After what I heard and blablabla it really freaked me out! Haha. This is my first time seeing such things around me.. Though I ddin't see the thing.. I wish I could sometimes..... But at the same time I was afraid.. Just wondering, why Meera and Fatin are the ones to get hurt but not us? Is it because they can see and that's why? Whatever the reason is, I will pray and be good and god will bless me and I won't be afraid! =)

Amitabha! =)

I don't love campcraft. But I yearn to get into finals! Therefore, I will do my best! =)