Heard the Iljimae song from Cyn's blog, getting emo again.

It just reminds me about the sad story..
And I want to cry.

Was wondering, what will happen to me if I ever see my parents die in front of me.. or get accused of doing something wrong and got beheaded..

Was wondering, how I would cherish them by then.. and my eyes are filled with tears now..

was wondering, why in reality everything is so different.. how I wish for a reunion dinner.. for a heart-to-heart talk.. for something I have longed for the past few months..


Should I.. should I just pretend nothing happens and stay cheerful and happy like some cartoon character?

Should I just look at this 晴天娃娃 and think that everything will be fine once the rain ceases and believe that rainbow will always appear.. perhaps self-deceiving will make my life better.

Or should I? hmm I don't know what does this picture mean. perhaps.. run away? Or.. complete ignorance.

I don't know why I am this sad.
Thought today is a fine day despite my bad cough. I really hate myself for being weak.. I have had enough of cough in the beginning of this year which lasted for like.. 2 months?
And I think Jolene is angry with me..
And..
I don't know what to type now..
and..
I am yearning for a hug from my grandma.......