Today was a horrible day. Something went wrong. I don't know why. First, there was this surge of disappointment.. and then anger.. and slowly it turned out to be a complete recklessness..

I felt like a spoilt brat. Gave up on GP lesson and just lay my head on the table and slept. The relief teacher called my name 3 times.. it was annoying. I knew I was wrong, but I just couldn't care.

broke my promise and I didn't go for water polo training. didn't really inform anyone, especially Lijing who actually supposed to go together with me.. I am sorry.. I guess I have failed to commit in the very first step.

Just loathe it when I have given someone my trust and secret but what I have in return does not equate to what I have given out. Perhaps I think too much. I can't help but doubt that kinda friendship. It was really a disappointment. and then, I was in rage.

I guess I am just selfish hur. Too bad I do not have that kind of magnanimity now. Maybe I have changed. Maybe I simply choose to protect my pride then.

Maybe I am just evil.. that a part of myself is never to be the same anymore. Especially to you.
Or maybe, I am actually not that evil?

Whatever. I am keeping cool now.
It drains me to fight against every thought and feelings that I have today. good or bad. For now, I'll leave them to fight against themselves.



Since Jolene went to find the old photo albums... I did the same =)
I love these memories. Sweet yet painful.
It's never coming back. although I have cried calling for it.
hmm.. how I wish I could be like 'Hiro'. Time traveler =)
how I wish I could travel back to 10 years ago and have a longgg chat with my dearest grandpa..
how i wish I could travel back to time and save my dog.
how I wish I could stop time so that no one leaves me..


Here. photos are randomly uploaded.


I found this. they were so freaking young and good-looking.. how sweet =)

and this, so cute.. =D


Below is my first ever naked photo! wonder who took it.. Realised that when I was young, i didn't dare to close the door whenever I bathed. I was quite timid i guess. and thats when someone got the chance to take a shot like this!

My QQ. Our QQ. Died when i was in primary 5/6. Don't ask me why I have such immense feelings for her. I just do. She's simply not an ordinary pet.

She is a family member. A sister. A great friend.
She is smart. Her eyes talk. I swear i can still remember her eyes..

I remember, when I was young and I played with her. I always wondered what she was thinking all the time.. what she wanted to tell me but couldn't.. and then, I began to have this silly dream, I want to be able to talk to animals.. isn't it cool huh?

It felt great to bring her out alone for a walk when I was just a young a girl with a size and weight much lesser than hers. cause' the children in the neighbour would always look at me with this curious or perhaps envious eyes. and i liked that.

In contrast, it's my turn to feel jealous to see that my friends actually have a dog so cute.. I do. but I am always proud of QQ. she's someone special. someone that can never be replaced. =)



This is my mum when she was 18! so pretty and cute just like ahem... haha =)


and above.. my aunt's wedding. My grandpa was still alive at that time, the one who doted on me most.. the one who I am missing badly now.. knowing that he's looking at me now somewhere.. and perhaps wanting to scold me for being so evil and spoilt..

I can still remember the wedding event. I was half happy and half sad.. knowing that my aunt's gonna get married to my uncle and she's no longer mine. Worse, now she is having 2 children and they are twins.. no more attention from her, but my attention for the two of them..


and here, this photo is like a fairytale.. you can guess who they are.

my papa! *love*

and this.. a complicated relationship between these people..


Things have changed so much..
sadly, time never stop.



that's all for this post.
tomorrow there is OCIP for the whole day..................
gotto sleep early le.
Good night.